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Dunes and beach and faces from strangers.

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Jesse bought me an amazing new beatonna shirt that I wore the entire weekend we were away:



It might not have been the smartest choice for three days spent in a family trailer park (edit: it was a big campground with trailers and cottages.), but I don't care. It was funny to both of us every time we saw it or thought about it.

Also! I noticed an interesting thing! When I'd pass by a couple (with or without children), if there was any reaction at all it was typically this: the woman would scowl and the dude would grin.

The weekend was fantastic. We barbecued and campfired and finished the second Professor Layton game and swam in the water and stretched out on the sand and talked and talked and talked.

Comments

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sensational
Jul. 11th, 2011 04:51 pm (UTC)
So, we just had a baby about 13 days ago, and I'm not yet sure how I feel about this attitude, post birth. Before, I just kind of shrugged and went "Yeah, I get that it's pretty weird and sad when folks talk about nothing but their babies, but I'm not sure why it bothers you so much." Now it makes me flinch a little--it feels a bit like shaming new mothers who can't think about much else, and I'm not surprised that it was women who looked scowly at your shirt and not men, since men typically leave the majority of the work for the new mother and don't really step up or invest to the degree that they should.

I'm not all "screw you for posting this," I mean, I used to tell dead baby jokes all the time, right. But gosh, the "funny" of it, especially when you mention being in a trailer park and how it might be inappropriate there (so: Moms and poor people are sensitive?), is not what I usually expect from your LJ. I usually like you and Jesse so much when you post. But mostly, this just makes me realize that I gotta think about this attitude and how I'm going to respond to it in the future.
audrawilliams
Jul. 11th, 2011 05:02 pm (UTC)
Oh good point. I totally should have said "campground" instead of "trailer park". I was just picturing what the place looked like, without really thinking about the classist implications of the phrase "trailer park". I wasn't referring to poor people at all. It's actually a sort of absurdly expensive place, and we were super lucky that they had a last-minute-weekend-deal.
(no subject) - sensational - Jul. 11th, 2011 05:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
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So I have this ex, - zingerella - Jul. 12th, 2011 08:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: So I have this ex, - littlegirltoast - Jul. 13th, 2011 08:59 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kira_lynn - Jul. 11th, 2011 09:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
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this_red_crow
Jul. 11th, 2011 05:15 pm (UTC)
That shirt makes me laugh. Martin's sister has two adorable babies, and the fact that she has twins and their father is an academic means that she deals with nothing. but. babies. And that's okay. I think it's okay when a SAHM is all BABIES BABIES BABIES when the babies are young because they take so much work.

But damn, the world is very baby-centric and it is hard to live a life without intersecting with horrible, lazy parents and their undisciplined kids. I like the idea of child-free flights and restaurants and so on. There needs to be some baby-free places in this world, I think.
freaky_eggplant
Jul. 11th, 2011 05:24 pm (UTC)
The world is baby-centric? lol, okay. Just because kids are present somewhere doesn't mean they're accepted. In a year and a half, I have yet to get through a day out of the house where I don't have to deal with struggling to push a stroller through heavy doors or get dirty looks or outright snarky comments from strangers, etc. etc. etc. But on the same hand, I would be totally in favour of baby-free places if that means I wouldn't get that kind of guff for having my child out in public in a place not designated as such.
(no subject) - rottenfruit - Jul. 11th, 2011 05:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
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cross purposes? - littlegirltoast - Jul. 14th, 2011 12:32 am (UTC) - Expand
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kira_lynn
Jul. 11th, 2011 05:23 pm (UTC)
That is a really good shirt.

My view is that saying "shut-up" is kind of rude, but not any ruder when it is about babies than otherwise.
molasses
Jul. 11th, 2011 05:26 pm (UTC)
i fucking love that shirt.
pleiadeslion
Jul. 11th, 2011 05:31 pm (UTC)
like like like
pinkminx
Jul. 11th, 2011 06:42 pm (UTC)
I love that shirt from a "keep your hands off my uterus" POV, but it's problematic from a "yeah, I have children, and right now my life is mostly about them because they're small, needy and dependent" POV.

This is not particularly about you, but tangentially: I feel uncomfortable with pro-choice rhetoric that seeks to silence people who chose to go ahead with their pregnancies & have those children & care for them & do their best to be good parents. Because all that means a lot of their focus will be on those children, and a lot of their conversation will dwell on their daily lives, especially when stay-at-home parents are concerned.
corduroyarmy
Jul. 11th, 2011 07:19 pm (UTC)
Replace 'babies' with 'fixed gear bicycles' or 'The Black Keys' and you'd have a t shirt I could use
I dunno if this has as much actual offensive content as is being percieved here. All I see is 'stop going on about an uninteresting topic', not 'argh why must you procreate in my nice clean quiet world parents are the worst'. Do I have blinders on, or is it worth considering that personal, unrelated experiences are being attached to the t-shirt? The only informational content on the shirt concerns TALKING about babies. All these other issues do not seem directly related, but there could be a sensitivity concern that I'm not considering, centering around the persecution of parents that I've never been aware of.
corduroyarmy
Jul. 11th, 2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
Re: Replace 'babies' with 'fixed gear bicycles' or 'The Black Keys' and you'd have a t shirt I could
On the flip side, I'm also pretty interested by the projection placed on Audra by defenders of the t-shirt, making it a pro-choice political statement!
cynica
Jul. 11th, 2011 07:41 pm (UTC)
Having just put Josh into a few hours a day of daycare, I am wholeheartedly GLAD to shut up about babies! :D
shasplim
Jul. 11th, 2011 07:46 pm (UTC)
I pointed this t-shirt design out to my wife, and got in trouble for thinking it was funny. Mind you, she is 8 1/2 months pregnant, so one can see why she took it personally.

I think that's the issue here: lots of people, both parents and dedicated non-parents, take babies personally. So "Shut up about Game of Thrones" isn't going to have the same impact.

But if you take personally every message on every t-shirt you pass every day...you're going to have a lot of long days.
palegreenthings
Jul. 11th, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC)
My least favorite internet thing is when someone posts something that they think is fun and then a fight explodes about how it is not fun.

Then again I am still mad at John K Samson for telling me I could ask my sister if she doesn't bring that basset hound.
palegreenthings
Jul. 11th, 2011 08:48 pm (UTC)
oh and furthermore, I propose naming a new law regarding this. Sort of like Godwin's Law, but this one relates to funloving posts that become vicious fights to the surprise of the poster.

LJ's law?
Withington-Williams Tenet?
Lincoln's Law? (see: http://is.gd/linkoln )
childofcrow
Jul. 11th, 2011 09:01 pm (UTC)
I adore this shirt.

larivee22
Jul. 12th, 2011 01:50 am (UTC)
My sister-in-law is expecting, and somehow she has turned it into a license for insisting that everyone should pay attention to her all the time, and that people who chose not to have kids / get married are inherently immature and selfish, so I think this shirt is pretty funny and also a bit refreshing at this time.

That said, there's truth on both sides of the "this society is so child unfriendly / parents today let their kids run wild" debate. I'm guilty of giving the side eye to noisy kids who may not deserve it at times, but it's also worrisome when parents let their children run around public places regardless of waiters carrying trays of hot food, older people with walkers and canes who can't even get to the other side of the room, people trying to get into the building while the kid's playing with the door, etc.
littlegirltoast
Jul. 13th, 2011 02:05 am (UTC)
My sister-in-law is expecting, and somehow she has turned it into a license for insisting that everyone should pay attention to her all the time, ...

Yes! Exactly! I think you've hit upon the most specifically apt reason that the shirt is such a relief to read.

It's not an anti-CHILD shirt, or an anti-MOTHER shirt, it's an anti-BLATHERING shirt.

Also it's sooooo funny hahahaha
amazon_ww
Jul. 12th, 2011 03:37 am (UTC)
I would have given you a somewhat subtle fist pump.
25stories
Jul. 12th, 2011 02:54 pm (UTC)
I don't care about the shirt and find the breeder debate tiring but I mostly just wanted to say that what rubbed me the wrong way here was this specific sentence: "Also! I noticed an interesting thing! When I'd pass by a couple (with or without children), if there was any reaction at all it was typically this: the woman would scowl and the dude would grin." Which to me, plays into some really bad, gendering, "women love babies, men just want to be free" stuff, which is not a dynamic that I find funny or "interesting" at all. And I would hope that while we should all respect women's decisions not to buy into the baby thing, doing so does not have to play into that sexist, "men secretly resent their baby-crazy wives" claptrap.
twiin
Jul. 12th, 2011 06:26 pm (UTC)
I for one think gender stereotypes are really only interesting precisely when I see them reinforced by people of those genders.

I honestly don't know how people who are interested in gender studies can't find that interesting. Isn't that the point, to recognize and examine behaviours and bias of interest?
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kira_lynn
Jul. 12th, 2011 03:57 pm (UTC)
Asking people to shut-up about babies sure means a lot of fuckin' people going on about babies.
tree_of_jessie
Jul. 13th, 2011 09:15 pm (UTC)
bahahahahaha!!
(no subject) - jameskalyn - Jul. 13th, 2011 10:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
eilenna
Jul. 12th, 2011 08:08 pm (UTC)
The shirt kinda reminds me of times I've heard a woman say, "Oh, don't worry, I'm not one of ____THOSE____ kind of girls." And they just fill in the blank with "a girly-girl," "a high-maintenance girl," "a female who gets offended by strippers," "a baby-obsessed woman" or something like that. The female speaking this gets approval/special status while reinforcing the stereotype of how bad/annoying/inferior the "typical" woman is. :(

On the other hand, the drawing of the baby is very cute, it softens the blow or helps me take it differently. I could imagine a drawing of a kitten and it saying Shut Up About Kittens and it would be really cute-funny to me. I realize it's not a pic of a kitten, but I can get the same feeling from the baby shirt. :)
anne_t_social
Jul. 12th, 2011 09:56 pm (UTC)
Oh man, I am SO GUILTY of not shutting up about babies. I feel like some days I don't have anything else to talk about, and everything that comes out of my mouth is Theo-Theo-Theo. I'm actually coming up with a plan of attack to make my life somewhat less baby-oriented, because there's a lot from my pre-baby life that I'm missing.

Also I lovelovelove Kate Beaton.
littlegirltoast
Jul. 13th, 2011 02:11 am (UTC)
I bought the shirt because as soon as I saw it I thought it was PERFECT for Audra.

Not because she or I dislike babies!

Not because she or I dislike mothers!

But because sometimes it is okay to be like OMG PLEASE SHUT UP ABOUT THIS THING that you are pretty tired of hearing about and which is supremely self-indulgent for someone to go on and on about but actually you CAN'T say that because it would be rude and cause a big stink so instead you just tune them out or avoid them or treat them differently and you don't want to, you want to be their friend or exist in the same space with them but they are being unbearable and it is because they have decided to create the most important thing in the world inside of their own bodies but like not everyone voted on whether they should do that so not everyone is really responsible for becoming a receptacle for every thought, observation and report that they can now bring you live from doing LITERALLY THE OLDEST AND MOST COMMON THING THAT HUMAN BEINGS HAVE AVAILABLE FOR THEM TO DO.

I say that as someone who totally loves babies, and frequently loves to be regaled with tales about them, and doesn't even think that everyone should shut up about them.

But maybe some people can shut up about them! And maybe it's a pretty cute idea to daydream of telling them so.

And that's what I think of this shirt, and I bet all of your babies are fuckin' the raddest ever. Bet you one hundred dollars.
ladykutenay
Jul. 13th, 2011 07:57 pm (UTC)
click to like!
ladykutenay
Jul. 14th, 2011 12:21 am (UTC)
I don't think it's funny but I am fine with other people thinking it is! I just really don't like the phrase "shut up".

Actually I guess maybe I would take it a little personally if someone I knew wore it around me but that's sort of a coincidence of me being someone who has a kid and talks about my kid lots, and also someone who finds being told to shut up triggering. So I would read it as being aimed at me (narcissism!) and have my feelings inadvertently hurt, and then I would feel dumb about that.
littlegirltoast
Jul. 14th, 2011 02:42 am (UTC)
click to take into consideration.
nightynight
Jul. 16th, 2011 06:31 pm (UTC)
From my golden handcuffed existence in the ivory tower, I would like a shirt that says "Shut up about how smart you are while bitching about what a hard life it is to be an academic when you have total job security and get to do what you love all day".

Generally anything people go on about forever is annoying. It's just socially rude. My husband was so upset one day, because he went to the farmer's market with two couples that are friends of ours and they talked about baby poop THE WHOLE. TIME. I understand that it is important to discuss, but that really was very, very rude of them - how was Scott supposed to contribute to the conversation? I felt upset for him. He was left out. My feelings would have been hurt, too.

.
only_8s
Aug. 5th, 2011 12:41 am (UTC)
I love this shirt. I am so over the baby obsession in this country. Bump Watch! Is Angelina expecting a new child? What did Natalie Portman name her new baby? Watch this brand new show about child beauty pageants! Watch this brand new show about spoiled children who have stupid parents that are willing to blow an obscene amount of money on their birthdays! Watch this brand new show about pregnant teenage girls! Will Jennifer Aniston ever have a baby? I HATE BREEDERS! As a mother I am an oppressed member of society! Tune in for the latest update on a tv personality's decision to get IVF. Octomom!

I mean: fucking Christ. And none of that ^ is even interesting, which is what really offends me. It's like if you're going to blather on and on about a subject at least do it in an interesting way. Tell me something cool. Teach me something I don't know. Find a way to make it funny.
boomchica
Sep. 22nd, 2011 11:27 pm (UTC)
How does one get one of these?
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